


war of hearts

by jjhs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Crying, Exes, Friends With Benefits, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24210832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjhs/pseuds/jjhs
Summary: because exes don’t do this. exes don’t kiss. exes don’t touch each other like they still love one another.or, mark and jeno are exes.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Mark Lee
Comments: 14
Kudos: 69





	war of hearts

**Author's Note:**

> [war of hearts](https://open.spotify.com/track/2aJWkpCXMvIIZISkMQr1lE?si=LYoaMj7QRraD4u-owqdFKg)

if only jeno knew how they always end up back in this position. if only he had the answers, but he doesn’t. how he ends up in mark’s bedroom in the alpha tau omega house remains a mystery to him. because exes aren’t supposed to do this.

but, when mark sucks hickies onto his neck and holds his waist a little too tight, he can’t help but let out a moan. as wrong as it is, as bad as it seems, he just wants mark so much. even with all repercussions, he wants. 

“missed you,” mark murmurs into jeno’s neck, hands roaming all over jeno’s bare chest. 

“missed you too,” jeno whispers, afraid of how wrecked his own voice would sound. _we shouldn’t be doing this_. “always make me feel so good.”

“good,” mark kisses jeno’s lips before nibbling on his jaw. “makes me feel good when i make you feel good.”

the words sound so right coming out of mark’s mouth, even if it’s so wrong for him to be saying them. they’re broken up and have been for two months now.

two weeks in, mark was calling and asking for jeno to come over for closure. a month and half in, they were promising each other that every time would be their last. two months in and they’re kissing each other with too much fervor.

“do you have to be somewhere tonight?” mark asks, hands rubbing circles into jeno’s warm skin.

 _study, study, study_. “no. i don’t.”

mark grins and jeno’s heart lurches. “good. i want you to stay all night.”

jeno just kisses him because he doesn’t know what else to do. not know, here in mark’s bed where he has spent so much time before—where everything feels different now that there is no more promise of tomorrow for them.

coming to terms with the break up took jeno a week to get out of bed without being forced by donghyuck. it didn’t fall on just one person, though, they were both at fault. break ups are messy, after all. 

mark works a hickey onto jeno’s hip. “are you okay?” mark asks, not stopping his bruising.

 _i don’t know, i don’t know, i don’t know_. “of course.” jeno gives him a weak smile before pulling mark back up and kissing him hard.

jeno’s fingernails scratch down mark’s well built shoulders and muscular back, leaving angry red lines in their wake. his legs wrap around mark’s waist and mark kisses his temple like he means it. 

jeno wishes he had any clue what mark was thinking, but the older is just too good at hiding his emotions when he wants. he always has been.

“are you okay?” mark asks again but this time he pulls away from jeno completely, depriving the younger of his touch and jeno whines. “seriously, you’re, like, not even into this at all.”

the accusation makes jeno’s stomach and head hurt. “i’m fine, seriously. stop acting like you care, anyway.”

the last sentence wasn’t meant to be said and mark has the audacity to look mildly offended. “what the fuck? of course i care.”

“right,” jeno mumbles. he pushes himself off of mark’s bed and begins to look for his clothing. “i should go.”

mark stands up and grabs jeno’s shoulder, forcing the younger to look at him. “no, fuck that, what is going on with you?”

“what is going on with me?” jeno exclaims, pushing mark away from him. “you’re the one who keeps telling me to come over.”

“you’re the one who keeps coming!” mark yells back and jeno is sure his entire frat can hear them by now. they’ve gotten noise complaints from mark’s frat brothers before, just never for fighting. 

“great,” jeno laughs, “blame it on me, like you always do.”

“when have i ever blamed anything on you?” mark screams. he’s turning pink at the cheeks and jeno hates himself for finding it so adorable.

jeno just scoffs. classic mark. “fuck you. just go to hell.”

mark rolls his eyes so hard they fall out of his head. “fine. get the fuck out of here.”

“gladly,” jeno snaps. he pulls on his jeans and his shirt before slipping into his shoes. he pulls a sweatshirt over his head and he’s 99 percent sure it’s mark, but nobody says a thing. he leaves in silence, slamming mark’s door shut behind him.

he doesn’t run into anybody else in the frat, thankfully. nobody is supposed to know that they still fuck, but he’s sure everybody does at this point. nobody has mentioned it to him, but they have to be suspicious. 

he walks home while the sun is setting. usually, it’s three am when mark’s driving him home. but, he can’t stomach being in a car alone with mark anymore. because mark is mark and he’s too pretty for his own good. he makes jeno’s heart race, palms sweat, stomach turn. jeno is just as much in love with mark lee as when he first realized his feelings.

all the time they spent together gone after one horrible, horrible night. they’ve been friends since jeno’s freshman year, almost two years now, and they’ve been dating for a year. but, relationships just end.

jeno’s about a mile into his walk when he hears a car behind him. very quickly, he recognizes the shiny red of mark’s car. he stares as mark’s car slows to a stop beside him.

mark rolls the window down. 

“what the hell are you doing?” jeno asks with a flush on his cheeks.

“it doesn’t feel right to make you walk,” mark says truthfully. he puts the car in park and unlocks the door. jeno just stares. “get in the car, jeno. please,” the last word comes out softly. it breaks jeno’s heart more than it already is.

“okay,” jeno agrees softly. he opens the door and climbs inside. mark begins to drive toward jeno’s dorm.

the car is silent, but the tension is so loud that not even the radio can cover the sound. 

“why?” jeno asks, and he can’t find any other words right for the situation they’re in. _just why?_

mark doesn’t answer right away. jeno can see the way mark is trying to formulate the right sentence. even after all his thinking, all he can come up with is, “because.”

jeno doesn’t ask for any more explanation because he figures he’s not going to get what he wants. so, he just let’s mark drive him home. there’s nothing else he can do as he’s buckled into mark’s passenger’s seat.

it brings him back to all the time he’s spent here too.

mark parks his car outside of jeno’s dorm, but jeno doesn’t move. he just sits still.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers, but he doesn’t even know what he’s apologizing for. for starting a problem at the frat? for breaking up with mark? “i’m sorry.”

mark just sighs. he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even look at jeno. he just stares at the horizon because he isn’t sure what response is appropriate. 

jeno doesn’t leave and mark doesn’t ask him either. jeno glances up from his lap to mark’s side profile. he looks as good as he always does, even with disheveled hair from where jeno’s hands had been tugging at it and with the bruises jeno left behind.

finally, marks says something. “can i come inside?”

jeno purses his lips. “hyuck is probably home….”

“right,” mark bites his lip. he starts the car up and turns around. 

“why are we going back to your frat?” jeno asks but he already knows. he wants to go back, he wants to be with mark anyway he can. is that wrong? probably.

“because i need you,” mark puts it simply and jeno couldn’t agree more. even after everything, they still need each other. 

mark takes his right hand off the steering wheel and puts it on jeno’s thigh. maybe it’s out of habit, but jeno can’t help but think that there’s more to it. he hates that his mind can’t just let him have this, have mark. he doesn’t want to think so much. is that so much to ask? 

they arrive at mark’s frat and jeno just sighs. why do they always do this?

he gets out of the car and mark pins him to the door by his wrists. “do you want this?” mark asks, but his eyes are running across the column of jeno’s neck.

“more than anything,” jeno replies and he can’t even bring himself to be embarassed by how desperate he is. 

mark kisses him hard and long, teeth biting on jeno’s lower lip, tongue sliding across the younger’s. he kisses him with familiarity, and dare jeno even say, love. too much passion involved.

jeno pulls away and looks at mark with soft eyes and a pout on his lips. “let’s go to your room.”

mark drags him inside, not bothering to hide him. unlike jeno, mark doesn’t give a fuck about who knows who he hooks up with. maybe it’s a frat boy thing, or maybe it’s a mark thing. jeno doesn’t know and doesn’t have time to contemplate it before mark pushes him back onto the bed.

he finds it ironic that an hour ago they were in this same position. mark’s shirt comes off and jeno’s follows suit. jeno takes in all of mark’s body and grabs at him. 

they kiss, mark’s tongue curling behind jeno’s teeth, jeno turning to accommodate mark’s biting on his neck. jeno sucks a bruise onto mark’s pale skin, happy with the mark as it bruises. 

mark’s fingers roam over his face, caressing his cheek. jeno’s head hurts from the implications. 

because exes don’t do this. exes don’t kiss. exes don’t touch each other like they still have feelings for one another. 

it’s not what exes are supposed to do, yet jeno wants all of it. he wants mark’s kisses and touches. he just wants mark however he can have him.

mark pulls away to breathe and reaches for the button on jeno’s jeans. he looks to jeno for approval and the younger nods. 

he gets so lost in his own pleasure and lust that he doesn’t realize what it means for them when it’s over. when they’re laying side by side, skin naked and bare, panting and sweating. mark is shameless as he pushes on the finger shaped bruises he left on jeno’s thighs.

“ow,” jeno murmurs, but he’s too tired to do anything about it. it’s gross and sticky as they lay there, but in this post orgasm bliss, everything feels inherently right and jeno doesn’t want to ruin it. he can’t give mark up yet, can’t give up _on_ mark yet. 

“sorry,” mark says as he pulls his hand away from the mess between jeno’s thighs. “are you okay?” 

jeno nods, eyes closed as he drifts off to sleep. “yeah, i’m fine.”

“did i hurt you?” mark asks and jeno almost laughs at him, at the question.

jeno just shakes his head. “just sore.”

“i’m sorry,” mark whispers. he turns on his side to look at jeno as the younger lays on his back. he runs his fingers over jeno’s prominent cheekbone. “you look so pretty like this.”

jeno basks in the praise. “i love you,” he breathes out and a tear slides down his face before he can catch it. mark’s caressing stops, but he doesn’t pull away. jeno cries harder. “i love you,” he repeats with a sob, breath caught in his throat.

it’s not necessarily new territory for jeno to cry in front of mark, but this is different. jeno’s never cried after sex since they became exes-with-benefits or whatever it’s called.

“jeno,” mark hesitates, voice soft. he pulls the younger closer to him despite how gross it is. jeno curls into mark, face falling onto mark’s chest. “i’m sorry,” mark apologizes, but jeno doesn’t know what for.

jeno just sobs. “it’s fine,” he manages to cough out. “i should be apologizing.”

“no,” mark denies, fingers running through jeno’s hair. jeno hates that mark still remembers how to comfort him. “you don’t have to.”

jeno cries and cries, until he falls asleep in mark’s hold. mark can’t even bring himself to pull away from him to clean them up. he knows he’ll regret it in the morning, but he’ll regret leaving even more.

a tear falls down mark’s cheek as jeno snores softly. his caresses never stop, but he can’t help the way his heart clenches. it hurts so bad to be without jeno, so he has him anyway he can get him. 

mark cries quietly as jeno sleeps. he cries because it hurts, because there’s nothing else he can do, because he wants so much but has little chance of attaining it. right as his tears slow and his breathing evens out, he looks at jeno and kisses the top of his head softly.

“i love you too,” is all he can say before he drifts off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> [twit](https://twitter.com/flirtmarkno)
> 
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/marknorens)


End file.
